Thanks to Internet culture, humans with naturally red colored hair- “gingers,” if you will, are not portrayed in a good light. They are often mocked, ridiculed. There’s even a national holiday dedicated to kicking them. I believe there may be something more to this. Something deeper… something sinister.
It’s stated in this “meme” that gingers don’t have souls… and what if I told you this was true?
You see, I have reason to believe that gingers are involved in a global conspiracy to overtake the world, using this “meme” as some sort of hypnotic spell. Mind control, if you will. Now, I’m going to-
“Ace! There you are! I hope I am not interrupting anything of importance!”
Wha- Dant! I’m busy! Get out!
“Oh. I see. In that case, I will-”
OUT!
…
Sorry about that. I’m testing out a new audio software to record my cases. Figured it might save a little more time than typing them all out. Don’t particularly like it much, but hey, it’s convenient. Now, back to the topic at hand!
So, my theory is that these soulless entities known as gingers are using this “meme” to garner pity for themselves. If they’re constantly being picked upon by the brunettes and blondes of the world, then by using this “meme” to get people to pity them, they can easily worm their way through society and take over the world! Make every other hair color the lesser color!
But worry not! I quickly uncovered this conspiracy, and I’m here to put a stop to it! To get the word out to the rest of the world! I won’t let these soulless monstrosities take control of the world! Because I’m-
“Ace, please stop. This is outlandish, even for you.”
What- Dant, can’t you see I’m trying to warn the world about the ginger threat?! You’re one of them, aren’t you! They’ve used their soulless, gingery little ways and taken control of you!
“Ace, a quick, well-informed search on the internet would show you that this so-called “ginger uprising” is in fact just a deep cut reference to Season 9, Episode 11 of the animated American television series South Park, in which the episode in question mocks people with red hair. So it is in fact not a ploy to take over the world, but instead a somewhat offensive joke.”
…Get out.
“I was merely trying to-”
OUT!
…
Well, there you have it, I guess. Choose whatever story you believe (but I think we all know which one is true). Case closed.
…
Uhg, this is the last time I record one of my cases. Now how the heck do I turn this thing off? Is it this one? No, no. Oh, it’s th-
